Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Women spend entire “girls’ night out” extolling their partners virtues

A hotly anticipated gathering of a group of girl-friends has resulted in an entire evening of anecdotes about the enormous appreciation they bear towards their partners. “As we don’t see each other as much as we used to, it’s just so great to get together and really sing the boys’ praises,” said Julie Whinn of Darlington, whose husband John looks especially sexy cooking in the kitchen wearing his rugby shorts.

A proud Jeanette Edwards spoke for all the girls when she said.

“A lot of us are mums now and it can get quite lonely and frustrating not having someone around during the day to share just how wonderful your man can be. So when we meet up, we can just get it all off our chests and have a laugh over tales of spontaneous petrol station bouquets, how Morrisons really is much more stressful when they go and how farting in bed is still the joke that just keeps on giving.”

As the Cosmopolitans flowed – at least for those who weren’t picking up their partners from the pub on the way home – conversation ranged from astonishment at how Ellie’s husband Will manages to do a full day’s work AND load the dishwasher in the evening, to outrage at Gail’s Dave being forced to endure nearly a whole hour of looking after the children while she “works out” hard in the gym.

But inevitably as the evening wore on, and the alcohol flowed it wasn’t long before the conversation turned to more intimate matters. “Girls will be girls and of course we soon started talking about sex,” explained Jane, who remains flabbergasted by just how much foreplay Sean can squeeze into an FA cup final ad break.

One of the girls who wanted to remain anonymous had the final say “It wouldn’t be appropriate to relate the more personal details here, but I just hope the lads never find out some of the things we discuss about what goes on behind bedroom doors. If they all knew how great the other partners are in bed, they’d never be able to look one other in the eye again.”

As told to Andy Baxter

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