Thursday, 3 December 2009

Acme Corporation investigated over “dubious” arms sales

The discovery of Jihadist style videos featuring a suspected terrorist who goes by the name of “Wile E. Coyote” has prompted raids by officers from Homeland Security on the US headquarters of the Acme Corporation.

The videos show Coyote ordering and using a number of improvised weapons systems at his desert hideout, many of which clearly bear the “Acme” brand name.

A spokesman for ACME said today “We take every precaution to ensure our products are used responsibly and vet every mail order to ensure they are for legitimate purposes” however investigators remain “dubious” of such claims given the unusually high number of shipments to just one individual.

Coyote’s main target has been identified only by the code name “Roadrunner”, but his use of other pseudonyms such as “Accelleratii Incredibus” has hampered Police investigations in tracking down his true identity. Investigators came close to locating a suspect but were distracted by unusual sounds later identified on video recordings as “BEEP BEEP” while simultaneously blinded by a sudden cloud of dust.

A wider inquiry will also probe how Wile E Coyote was able to obtain rocket launchers, grenades, explosives, anvils, giant rubber bands and improvised rocket propellants from other unknown suppliers by mail-order with such ease, at no cost, and without proper vetting.

As told to Andy Baxter

No comments:

Post a Comment