Thursday, 10 December 2009

The Lunatics Are definitely in charge of this asylum!!

No wonder NHS psychiatric services are stretched to the limit this year. All this stress brought about by the credit crunch, the state of the economy, man made climate change, and endless surveys telling us how dangerous every activity of daily living is, like getting out of bed, and eating food has driven swathes of people into the arms of their local psychiatrist.

Of course, it would help ease pressure on mental health services if there weren't so many lunatics already knocking around the system. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on your viewpoint, 646 of them have been released into a special “Care in the Community” project housed in a large gothic building in Westminster, right on the edge of the Thames. The inmates of this facility have a nice big clock tower so they know when their appointment with the doctor is due. They also get endless “pocket money” and are well victualed by a series of subsidised bars and restaurants to cater to their every whim.

Unfortunately, some of these fruitcakes have been listening to “experts” when it comes to how to make things happen in the real world and relentlessly strive to impose their own un-arguable view of how to live one’s life on the rest of us;

Thus we have drivers (the Governments favourite goose laying golden eggs) punished for using empty bus lanes, ergo easing the ill of modern transport; congestion.

Namby pamby pandering to drug addicts in prison, have I missed something here because if your in prison a) you’ve been convicted of a crime and b) taking drugs is illegal is it not? As ever excuse and pander instead of punish what on both counts (i.e. criminal behaviour) is a lifestyle choice.

More lunacy with the Justice Minister Bridget Prentice on a crusade against the colour pink exhorting us to protest against its “sexist” influence! I do wonder if she played with Thomas the Tank Engine as a child and alas perhaps she did if Prof. Wilton from the department of political sciences at Alberta University is to be taken seriously. I had better keep an eye on my two teenage children (both Thomas fans in their formative years, although I confess my only daughter was the only fan of the colour pink) just in case they start to exhibit sexist and other undesirable behaviour!

Jon Walsh laments on, despite being born and bred in Britain, his lack of knowledge of all things British as defined by The Home Office in their “citizen test” for immigrants called “Life in the UK”. Someone should let Jon in on the secret that the Home Office doesn’t live in the same country as the rest of us now, were part of the EU didn’t yah know!

The Police are not immune from lunacy either we discover as we find out they need to convene meetings, document and minute them to decide where to place coffee tables and waste bins and even having to fill in forms to change light bulbs and order loo roll……Hmmmm cant have the boys in blue caught with their trousers down can we.

Alas the lunacy spreads and the rest of the world is not immune, thus we find the IMF the guardian of prudent global fiscal policy urged to hand over “special drawing rights” to the world’s Gold reserves to combat and subsidise global man made climate change.

But there is a spark of sanity I’m glad to say, a plan perhaps to solve the UK’s budget deficit that Mathew Norman comes up with, the brilliant idea of imposing a “super-tax” on Anthony Blair, for it is the same that has amassed a fortune since leaving office in property and speaking fees amongst other activities so combined with his wife’s earnings as a barrister proves that the Blair-Witch project is not only alive and well but thriving, lunacy indeed……….

1 comment:

  1. Watching the lunatics is an excellent spectator sport though!